Feeling Sluggish

I think I need to have songwriting practice.  Can that be such a thing?  I feel like all I would do is go over scales, but I do that anyway.  I guess I could play my scales more randomly.  That would accomplish something.  I don't think that I would, or even should do songwriting practice every day.  Maybe like once a week?  It should be fairly regular.  People can't just rely on random chance to write songs, can they?  I'm not sure if I can do that.  I mean, obviously I can do that and so far that's pretty much how all of my songs have been written.  Yet, right now I feel oddly compelled to write more songs and yet I have no material.  I don't even have a way to try and make material.  I'm not really sure what this means, but I feel like it's something that I should at least be capable of doing.  Maybe my songwriting practice should be just me sitting with my bass for a while and seeing what happens.  I'll have to experiment more.

Support Needed

More internet drama!  Every time the site that hosts my playlists decides to do anything, they always have to poke me in my playlists.  I can't believe the change they made this time (since I've complained and they reverted all their other changes.  Or I found where they moved stuff.  I don't remember).  This time when they changed their site, they completely erased my main playlist.  Yeah, it was only one playlist that I lost, but It was where I would randomly post songs that I found interesting.  The idea was that someday I would go back and use it as a source for making a lot of smaller playlists.  Maybe not the best idea every time, but I thought it would have been fun.  The point is, there are a lot of good songs that I have posted there that I'm going to now have to remember and look them up and post again.  I probably listen to it enough where I could do that, but today I really wanted to listen to some new stuff and this whole mess totally threw off my day.  Now I'm annoyed and don't want to try new things.

Quality Matters

I have made a terrible mistake.  After blindly releasing one of my poems on the internet for everyone to see, I went back and listened to it and the quality is unbearable.  People do not release anything with this low of a recording quality.  Nobody.  Not even the people making videos of their friends being kicked the balls.  This is supposed to be a piece of work that I've spent so much time on that I think other people will like it and possibly tell people they respect about it.  For a long time  had a short series of videos that I had recored as practice posted, but I kept the private.  I knew there were going to be unforeseen problems, and of course as soon as I make one of them public, I figure out what the problems are.  The videos are terrible.  Sure, I might not look like a chump if they can listen long enough to hear any of the words.  But there's a pretty good chance that only people that know me would ever do that.  I still like the whole concept for the mini-series though.  I re-worded a few of my hits and put them together, things worked out quite well.  Quite well indeed.

Gains

Putting a finished or mostly done piece of work to the side for a while is definitely a good way to think about things.  After not listening to any of my recordings for quite a while, I first thing that I noticed was that the "jam" track was a lot better than I had been giving it credit for.  I remember how difficult it was to improvise music with myself since not only did I have to memorize the other part, but it doesn't ever change to accommodate slight mistakes or hesitations that can be fairly common during a performance.  That being said, the actual mix of computer generated music and improvisational bass guitar are at the same time wildly different and blended fairly well.  I made a good choice by picking a consistent strumming technique that fits with the beat nicely to allow me to improvise.  I remember playing the song quite a few times, so I had a pretty good idea of the structure by the time I recorded it.

Personal Development (novel goal)

I now have yet another new writing area which contains a single piece.  This is supposed to be where I was going to write the 10 to 20 pages stories.  So far, that has not happened, but that is still the intention of the writing area.  My previous writing entries have been very short, but so far they have all been connected in some way.  If they isn't a direct connection, there is at least a connection via the topic being written about.  My intenion of this new area is not only to increase the length of the pieces that I'm writing about, but also to change the topic and secenery at random.  At first this may not seem like the best practice, to just write randomly, but if that were not my intention, I would simply create a piece for one of my previously estabilshed categories.  The point of my new space is to have somewhere that I can create new topics that are intentionally irrelevant to any of my current storylines and try to make them into something that is expansive.  The goal would be to eventually end up with something that could be novel length or play length instead or my typical experimental entries.

running around

Soldier, I said flank right.  That means you flank right NOW!

Sir, yes sir!

With his hand on his helmet, he scurried away as quickly as his legs could take him considering he was carrying a 70lbs bag and slightly oversized boots that aren't exactly the best for high speed activities anyway.  Most of the other guys seemed to fit into their boots a little bit better, but who knows why that is.  Everyone did the same amount of training, and if anything Mark seemed to hit the weights a little more than a few of the others.  But they have what I guess you would describe as "ankle muscle" which is in this instance something that would be kinda handy.

Mark liked to think that he was always gearing up towards combat, whether he knew it or not.  How else can one fit in when you're in a place like this anyway?  You'd be surprised the direction that life can lead some people.  Thinking back to the people he's met in his life, who would have expected some of the things that they've done.  It's not like people can judge you anyway, that's one of the benefits that Mark noticed very early on.

I don't see anything.

Are you blind or stupid?

Shut up and stay down!

Oh, the old familiar dialogue.  By now, Mark's sure that outsides wouldn't really understand what's going on, but he's grown to like that sort of thing after a while.  The Captain doesn't really need to throw on the extra "stupid" bit, but he knows Mark well enough to remember that it digs him just that little bit extra.  And with all the people around here, he definitely doesn't have to do those little bits that lets a guy know he's remembered.

When Mark first arrived, he knew that banter and other sort of teasing was to be expected to some extent, that's the nature of things.  But what can't really just be prepared for is when you start to form sort of bonds with this back and forth.  And some guys just tend to know each other for a long time, whatever the reason may be.

Looks like we're moving.

Stay low and shut your mouth.

I know what I'm doing.

What did I just say to you?  Now I'm going to pretend you didn't just say that.

The sun was starting to get low in the sky, but not low enough to be directly in your eyes and definitely not low enough to start to reduce visibility.  The target that the Captain was talking about was just on the other side of a small hill.  The long, dry grass in the field swayed lightly back and forth in the wind.  There really wasn't anything that Mark could claim was getting in his way.

Mark was the kind of guy that always had his head in things, but not quite in the way that the people around him expected.  And the obvious thing to assume from here is that he didn't really want to be where he was.  That's pretty much how things go in whatever you're doing.  As soon as you stop wanting to be there you start to lose focus, you stop doing what you're supposed to be doing, and eventually an intelligent person will find something else to do with their life.  So, what exactly is Mark's problem?

Being the kind of guy that people sort of have to get to know, Mark can get away with a few things every now and then.  It's pretty much been like that his whole life.  In high school if Mark got into a fight or two, he wouldn't really get labeled as the kind of guy that goes around starting fights.  People knew him and they never really questioned this.  Or if he forgot to do his homework once in a while, his friends still pretty much assumed that he was going in the right direction and wouldn't really think about him the way they might if someone else were to  do that.

And of course, people got to know Mark because he would make them get to know him.  It's pretty hard to ignore someone that's in the gym that much, especially when that's what you do.  But some people seem to get to know each other a little more quickly than others.  It was actually a strange day today.  This isn't in the way that Mark couldn't seem to get anything right, or anything like that.  Those were almost to be expected to some extent and when people know each other for a long enough period of time, these things are often skimmed over or forgotten quickly.  The strange part is that Mark wasn't with the group of guys he's normally around.

Maybe it was just the time of day.  It had been a pretty long week after all.  Mark had been working a little harder than usual for reasons he wasn't exactly aware of.  Things don't always need to make sense or be explained in some simple, easy to swallow version.  Sometimes people just do things or think things and that's the way things are.  "He's already calling me stupid, isn't he" Mark kept thinking to himself.

Spotted!  Drill's over.

text1

It was a bitter cold outside.  Lately this type of weather was pretty much expected, or at least it should have been, but to me it always seemed like a surprise.  You know that the winter months are going to be cold, but when you get there, for some reason you don't really expect it to ever be quite that cold.

There was a light drift of snow falling, slowly visible against the dark backdrop that was hovering over the area.  About this time of year there's usually more snow on the ground, but we recently had a rain storm that washed most of it away.  Not really much to say except yet another reason for the cold to be just a little bit more surprising.  That's the way things are in this type of area.  Sure people complain, people complain wherever you are.  The next thing you know the summers are going to be too hot.

Inside, people were restless.  Quiet.  Everyone was busy, but not really around.  The air was stale from inactivity.  It was one of those nights were everyone just stayed home without really having much of a reason.  Things were lively though.

Hey, look who it is.

I see somebody is glad to see me.

Are you kidding?  We're just getting tired to slapping each other around.

So that was fast, right?

Ey!  Look who's being the funny guy again.

Sure, whatever.

Alright.

So, what are we doing?

You're really still asking that?

It's one of those things you say.

Yup, it is.

It's not that there weren't many people, there were just enough.  And things were quieter than they had been, even with a few people showing up and leaving here and there.  Things were quite in a good way if you can imagine that.  It was a sort of enjoyable, fun stale air.  It might not make sense, but that's the way things were.

Hey!

What?

Are you paying attention?

What do you mean?

What did I just say to you?

The funny guy thing?

That's the way things are.

I'm not following.

You mean you have a problem Mr. Fancy?

Huh?

Exactly.

So now we know it's possible.

Oh, that makes sense.

Does this look like fancy guy opinion time?

So, I'm not the funny guy?

I didn't even notice, but everyone had suddently left and was replaced by two or three times as many people.  There was a difference that you couldn't quite put your finger on, but it was there.  Things were a lot louder, but you might say quieter.  You couldn't tell though.  I couldn't tell, and I was there.

The snow had stopped falling and the moon was bright against the dark sky.  If you were still long enough, you could feel how cold it really was.  The illuminated outline of clouds could be seen puffy and covering up most of the stars in the sky.  You could see the non-movement of the dark sky all around the moon.